In honor of 7 months of silence in the blog... ;)

...I hope everyone is well, and Happy Gandhi Jayanti from Bhubaneswar! :) Anna

Congratulations to Abraham

Truly the sun is shining....congratulations to Abraham and his wife on the birth of their new ray of sunshine Boonii.

The sun is always shining

The sun never stops shining, there are only but a few passing clouds which are actually a good thing. The clouds are half the beauty in the sunset, they carry the rain, they protect life…and pale skinJ from too much exposure. The sun actually never sets and it shines every day indiscriminately; even when we don’t see it, or when we’re locked up in our little world and refuse to see the world for what it is. As Mommy Dearest (1977-date) says, when I do nothing all day, the sun still rises in the morning and sets in the evening. If I work hard all day, the same sun will rise in the morning and set in the evening. I have no control over the sun’s movement but it constantly provides me a new opportunity. It’s up to me what I choose to be and what I let pass me by.

We all have our purpose in life but it’s not easy going the extra mile following our dreams. The older you get, the harder it gets to dream, trust me. You have to be a die hard. People scorn you for dreaming but at the end of the day we all admire and read about those who followed their dreams especially against all odds. As a child all we kept talking about is what we wanted and we were bold about it. So bold that the favourite question was what do you want to be when you grow up and we’d start. Some of us had the same dreams and others kept changing their minds. You can guess where I was… My friends daughter was asked by my sister what she wanted to be when she grew up and she said she wanted to be a watchman. Why? So she can protect her parents. Ask any child in the most difficult situation anywhere in the world and they will start bubbling and get all excited about their dreams. Dreams of a better world where they can do something to change the world. That is how life is supposed to be, but we get derailed by sideshows and forget what was truly important to begin with. I keep forgetting but I remind myself by writing it down and holding myself accountable and having my closest and dearest hold me accountable. Not easy but not difficult either. Well within our reach.

I’m still learning not to worry about tomorrow because I realized what I do today will determine my tomorrow. I still have bouts of laziness, procrastination and dark sad days when I’m afraid and want to do nothing/give up. Family, friends, strangers and life remind me that these are just passing clouds. I’m reminded that I have a responsibility to myself and those who will never get the opportunity that I got. Those who are now part of the statistics that we read about, discuss and write about. Not by choice or laziness but because the world has a few really selfish people. I cannot change the world but I can change the world around me (quote from someone). I only have to do my best today and when a new day comes I do my best that day.

I’m slowly finding my place in the big not so bad world. Though it will take me a long time, I know I can follow my dreams and do something to make this a better place. It will be little compared to what’s in the world’s agenda but little can be much. I hope I never get overtaken by events and find that I stopped living my dreams or worse, I stopped dreaming and hoping. Even when the days are dark, I want to continue hoping because the sun will rise, morning will come and a new opportunity will present itself. Then there’s always music that puts soul into everything.

Clearly very somber and philosophical Fifi.

Small farms survive

I have decided to withhold my death to small farms agenda until such a time when I am the UN secretary general and can speak without worrying about future employers misinterpreting my good intentions. For this deflowering session, I will be gentle and focus on the Swedish decency juxtaposed with Kenyan hospitality.
Before I start I wish to put a disclaimer. The thoughts below belong to me and can therefore not be taken too seriouslyJ.
The one thing that I notice upon arrival in Sweden is that I have ample time to be alone. Apart from student life, everything seems well ordered and pre-planned. Swedish street decency is a welcome relief though sometimes I miss the order in disorder back home. I love the security, honesty, order and dependability in Sweden. If I knew how to, I could actually do an elaborate mental GIS analysis as I walk to Kamnarsvagen uninterrupted. There are no crowds in the streets, no shouting or heckling or being forced to buy something you don’t need or get into a matatu for 20shillings, con men, city council askaris, greasy food, and teenage wanna-bees Nairobi style.
In Nairobi, I never know who will drop in at the office, home, invitation only ceremony, bus station, anywhere and everywhere. Friends and enemies, relatives, their friends…drop in at a time of their liking. I actually never noticed that was how day to day life was in Kenya until I experienced Swedish decency. Is it bad..no, just different . With the school schedule, I am lucky to be so far from the regular visits.
Nairobi’s randomness may drive some people crazy and some people really hate the hustle but it’s grown on me. There’s no public and private life because it’s all public, so if I come off as blunt sometimes it’s no t me…. It’s the Nairobian in me. We all belong to a community and subscribe to the invisible rules of sharing and caring. There is no Swahili translation for I miss you. We have translations for love, want, need, desire everything but miss. Coincidence? I think not. We never had time to miss each other because when we miss someone we just drop by their home and chat and just stay on for as long as we like.

Now, the village or shags as we call it. (no, not an indecent word in Swahili) Picture this, no electricity, just the sky and the stars family, friends, birds, cows and a pit latrine. Sitting in the smoky kitchen putting firewood into the 3 stone stove, eating roasted sweet potatoes or yams listening to stories and drinking some homemade brew. My modern stories are common and boring in this arena so I just sit and listen. It’s not easy to explain but there is just something about going to visit my grandfamily that makes me peaceful.
And yes I miss the sunshine, but I hear the aint no sunshine since I leftJ